Feed the good wolf

Posted on January 9, 2012

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Self belief and positivity has always been a bit of a struggle for me. I’ve had teachers, career counselors, my parents, my manager and friends comment about my lack of self belief. I’ve never consciously done it, I really do try to be positive when I realise what I’m doing, but it’s always been a bit automatic and easily overlooked by myself. I tend to doubt my ability to succeed, and it’s not because I don’t ever succeed. I do okay if I set my mind to something. I’m a pretty driven person when I want to be, and really all most things boil down to is hard work. Honestly I think it’s a fear of being all hopeful for something and the disappointment that results when I don’t quite hit the mark. It’s exactly why I struggled to set my goals, and it’s why I always seem so shocked when I do well. It’s not an attempt to seem humble, it’s genuine shock. So I’m trying to realise my successes, but more importantly, my abilities.

During year 12, a close friend sent me a link to what was described as a Native American legend. I’ll insert it here for you here. It really spoke to me.

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

It was something he had lived by since he first read it, and now is something I try to live by. It’s become quite significant to me as I fight my self doubt and negativity. It’s helped, too. It helped me to keep myself in check throughout my final year of school, which was unhealthily stressful, and it’s helped me when it comes to losing weight too. I realise you can’t plow a field by turning it over in your mind, but I honestly believe in the power of positivity. It won’t heal sickness or burn calories, but it gives me the energy to burn them myself, keep fighting when I want to quit, and give things my all.

It is very close to my heart, and I try to keep it fresh in my mind.

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